We’ve all had times when our confidence fails us. However, are you allowing yourself to miss out on prime opportunities? Are you afraid of coming across as too confident or arrogant?
Perhaps it’s time to lay aside these fears and become assertive and gain respect in your field. And it all starts with learning the difference between assertive and aggressive. It’s important to be able to recognize and deal with whatever threatens to stand in the way of realizing your full potential so that you can bring together a productive team.
How Assertiveness Ends Negative Thoughts
There are times when it can seem like the world is against you. Perhaps you feel you are continually passed over for that promotion you have been wanting. Maybe your team has been struggling, and you have not been able to bring them together as you hoped.
Often, we may even blame outside forces for unfortunate events. We may blame the person who received the promotion or bad luck. Overall, though, you just wish you could be more assertive. When you feel like you are not making a difference and not gaining any footing on your path towards success- you can fall into harmful thoughts.
You may start thinking and saying things such as – you will never make it, or you’re not smart enough, and not good enough. This type of self-deprecation begins to hold you back and will bring others down as well.
Learning to be assertive will help you gain confidence and end negative thoughts.
Self-Awareness & Self-Confidence
Assertiveness brings with it confidence and vice versa. Self-awareness brings with it both confidence and assertiveness. If you lack in these elements, it can feel like the world is closing in and everyone is against you.
Confidence and self-awareness come from being comfortable with who you are. This means accepting everything about your faults. It means knowing your limitations and learning from your mistakes. You can’t bury your head in the sand and ignore your shortcomings. You can only accept what you can’t change and work on what you can.
If you can recognize missed opportunities, you can progress toward your goals. Each failure or misstep is a learning opportunity and not a step backward away from your goal of success. Know your limitations and use them as stepping stones on your journey.
Rather than seeing your humanity as a setback, see it as a fantastic frame of reference for your strengths and weaknesses. Know you have something to build on! Now you can discern the difference between assertiveness and arrogance.
Assertiveness = Respect
Now that you have taken some time to self-reflect and learned your weaknesses, your areas of negative thinking, and where you may need a little work – you can play to your strengths. Every major-league player will tell you they have weak areas. They had to know where they were weak so they could play to their strengths.
Being assertive is simply trusting in your judgment. If you have the experience and the skills, why doubt?
Being assertive does not mean being a bully. Assertive behavior gains respect. Remain calm and composed; focus on the issue, discuss problem-solving options and come to an agreement. Being assertive means that you have the confidence in your leadership skills. So be a leader and guide your team to success by helping to bring their gifts to the surface.
You may not have all the confidence in the world at first – but it will come as you step out into this new territory. Know yourself and know you have the skills to make this happen. Respect will follow those who bring out the best in others.